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  I smiled at him warmly. “I'm okay, baby. I probably just need some rest and liquids and I'll be in tip top shape in no time.”

  He pursed his lips for a moment and then nodded with a halfhearted smile. “If you say so. Call me later and let me know how you're doing?”

  “Of course! Don't worry so much about me, okay? It's just a cold,” I reassured him, leaning over the center console to kiss him softly and maybe a little too quickly. “Get home safe and text me when you get there, ‘kay?”

  “Always,” he agreed as I got out of the car.

  I waited half an hour before I left my parents' house and went to the drug store, just to be sure that Kit had gotten home. While I was at the drug store, I picked up several different brands of pregnancy tests and tried to ignore the look the cashier gave me as I was checking out. She's probably just curious, I reminded myself. Once I returned to my parents' house, I quickly went up to my bedroom and shut the door when my brother gave me a questioning look.

  After another half an hour, and half my body weight in water, I rushed to the bathroom with all five pregnancy tests and a plastic cup. It was a weird process as I peed in the cup and fumbled my way through testing all of the different kinds of tests. I hadn't ever done anything like this before, and I'd imagined that when I did in the future, it would be an exciting experience. But as I retreated –yet again– to my bedroom, all I felt was anxiety. For the next five minutes, I frantically googled the best way to get an accurate result on pregnancy tests and essentially got the same answer from every possible search.

  I tortured myself with a million what-ifs and possible scenarios that could come to pass with my pregnancy

  By the time my timer went off, I was suddenly too scared to look at them and I ended up staring at the back of each test. Come on, all you have to do is flip them over and look at the result, I scolded myself as I nervously chewed on my fingernails and paced around my bedroom.

  Eventually, I sighed heavily and picked up one of the more expensive tests, flipping it over. My heart –which had been racing for over an hour now– stopped beating for a couple of seconds and I laughed nervously. I didn't believe it at first and frantically flipped the other four over, only to find the exact same result. The tears fell faster than I could stop them as I stared at multiple positive pregnancy tests, and I tried to still my heart.

  No, this can't be happening right now. I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. What am I going to do? I panicked, sinking onto the edge of my bed and putting my head in my hands as I sobbed.

  As I sat there, every time Kit and I had had sex in the past couple of months ran through my mind and I realized that we hadn't been safe, besides my birth control which had clearly failed. And I started to beat myself up about not being more careful because something like this was bound to happen.

  A soft knock came at my door and I sniffled as it opened to reveal my brother Patrick standing there unsure. He frowned when he saw me and crossed his arms firmly against his chest.

  “What's going on? Did something happen at work?” he asked, coming into my bedroom to sit next to me.

  I shook my head and hiccupped.

  “Then what's wrong?” he pushed softly, rubbing my back soothingly as I hiccupped again.

  I couldn't bring myself to say the words I'm pregnant out loud and instead pointed to the pregnancy tests sitting behind him. His eyes widened when he realized what he was looking at and I heard him curse softly under his breath.

  “Do I know him?” he asked softly.

  I nodded, avoiding his gaze.

  “Do I like him?”

  Again, I nodded.

  “Does he know? And if so, are you crying because he left you?”

  I shook my head and sighed heavily.

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “I don't know. But there's something else you need to know about all of this, and I need you to promise me that you won't be mad when I tell you,” I admitted.

  He smiled at me softly. “I could never be mad at you, Acacia.”

  “Kit's the father and I've been seeing him for a couple of months now,” I blurted out in a rush, looking between Patrick's eyes and my folded hands.

  He was quiet for a moment and then he nodded understandingly. “Is he treating you right?”

  My heart jumped at the question and I smiled softly. “Yes, he is.”

  “And you're happy?”

  “I am,” I stated sincerely as we made eye contact.

  He nudged my shoulder with his and smiled warmly. “Then why would I be upset with you? I want to see you happy, and if Kit makes you happy, then I'm happy. But I might have to kick his ass for making you cry.”

  I laughed and sniffled. “He didn't make me cry, Patrick. I'm crying because I'm scared. I didn't mean to get pregnant and I don't know what I'm going to do now that I am. What if Kit doesn't want to be a father?”

  “Come on, let me make you some tea and we can talk about this some more,” he offered, standing up and holding his hand out to me.

  19

  Kit

  I sat outside of Acacia's parents' house for a few moments, gathering the courage to go inside with all of the things I'd gotten for her. She didn't want me to see her sick, but the feeling in my chest had been too hard to ignore as I sat in the empty apartment without her. So ignoring her wishes, I made chicken noodle soup and made a quick trip to the store to surprise her with some movies and flowers. Eventually, I took a deep breath and got out of my car and walked up the stone pathway, walking right in the door once I'd stepped up to it.

  In the living room, Acacia and Patrick were sitting on the couch speaking over tea and I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her red-rimmed eyes. She looked as if she'd been crying for quite some time and I immediately felt the urge to console her. But before I could say anything to her, Patrick's eyes met mine and he looked angry as I stepped forward.

  “You,” he said, pointing at me as he stood. “Come with me.”

  I set everything down on the coffee table and kissed the top of Acacia's head before I followed him. And when my eyes found several pregnancy tests on the table, I squinted at them to see the result. All five were positive and my heart started racing, anxiety heavy in my chest.

  “Now,” Patrick urged, a stern look on his face.

  What if Acacia decides she wants nothing to do with me? Or what if she doesn't want to keep the baby? I worried as I followed Patrick up the stairs to his childhood bedroom.

  “You knocked up my sister?” Patrick asked rhetorically as soon as the door shut behind us.

  I leaned against the wall and sighed softly. “It would appear so. If you're going to kick my ass, can you wait until we're out of earshot of Acacia, please? I don't want her to see it or hear it and try to step in. Especially now.”

  “I'm not going to hurt you, Kit. Unless you hurt Acacia in any way, then I'll personally rearrange your facial structure. And if you try to step foot in this house again, they'll never find your body. If you care about her at all, you'll do the right thing and again, if you don't, I've no problem doing jail time,” he threatened calmly.

  “I would never do anything to hurt Acacia. She's the love of my life, man. And she has been for a really, really long time. If we weren't friends, and I hadn't feared disrespecting you, I would've asked Acacia to be mine years ago. Hell, who knows? This might have been a planned pregnancy in that hypothetical situation.”

  “I've loved Acacia since the first time I saw her,” I continued. “Every single part of that woman is perfect. Her laugh, her smile, her intelligence, the way she views the world. Everything...”

  He smiled which confused the hell out of me.

  “Keep it that way, Kit. I don't have a problem with you seeing my sister, not in the slightest. The only thing I have a problem with is the possibility that you could hurt her, especially now that you've knocked her up. As long as you keep her happy and never hurt her, I don't care if you two date,”
he stated simply, shrugging his shoulders casually as he kept smiling.

  I furrowed my brows at him. “You don't have a problem with us dating? But she's your little sister. Isn't that disrespectful or something?”

  He shook his head. “Not really. She's a grown woman now and can make her own choices. Besides, there's no better man in the world for her. You're family, Kit, always have been. If you love Acacia, then stop holding yourself back on my behalf; you never should have to begin with.”

  “Are you sure that you have no problem with our relationship? Because I don't want you to say you don't now and then six months later be completely against it,” I asked, taking a step away from the wall.

  He laughed lightheartedly. “Relax. If I had a problem with you dating, don't you think I would've knocked you on your ass the second you walked into my home? Come on now, you know me way better than that.”

  I nodded in agreement and chuckled. “That's true. I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt Acacia and that I love her very much. She doesn't know that yet, and I'm still trying to figure out how to tell her, but I do.”

  “Honestly? Just tell her. I know she feels the same way,” he told me, smiling fondly.

  I smiled at the thought of Acacia thinking of me so highly, my heart beating quickly as the warmth returned to my chest. “I hope you're right.”

  “You sound like such a woman right now, but I understand what you're saying. And you shouldn't worry so much about it, she's crazy about you, Kit. But, again, if you hurt her, consider yourself dead to this family.”

  I nodded. “If I ever hurt her, I don't think I could live with myself. She's too important to me and honestly, way too good for me. But I promise that I'll make her happy and take care of not only her but our child, too.”

  We heard a door shut somewhat loudly outside and I frowned.

  “Go. She needs you right now. Tell her everything you told me and make sure that she never forgets it, okay?” Patrick urged, nodding his head toward the door.

  I clapped his shoulder. “Thanks, man. I appreciate having your blessing to date Acacia, and I swear you won't regret giving it to me.”

  Patrick smirked. “I better not. Remember that's my baby sister and I would walk through fire for her. I'd do the same for you, too. You're family, Kit, and you always will be. Don't make me choose between the two of you, because despite all we've gone through together, Acacia is blood. And blood is thicker than water.”

  I left Patrick's bedroom and stood in the hall between their rooms for a moment, breathing deeply as I prepared to profess my love to Acacia. The anxiety in my chest wasn't because I thought it was too soon to say it or because I thought she'd jump ship at the first sign of love, but because it had to be perfect. I didn't want Acacia to think that the only reason I'd say ‘I love you’ was because she'd gotten pregnant, and I hoped that she wouldn't as I opened her bedroom door and stepped inside.

  20

  Acacia

  I'm so tired of crying, I thought pathetically as I sat on the edge of my bed, my heart racing and chest tight with anxiety. Kit had showed up out of the blue and most likely saw the pregnancy tests sitting on the coffee table, which only made things worse. I kept torturing myself with what-if scenarios as I cradled the bouquet of calla lilies to my chest and stared at the pregnancy tests.

  I sniffled and groaned in annoyance as tears continued to roll down my face. How did I let this happen? How did this happen? It's not like I haven't been on birth control for nine years now. And I've never forgotten to take a pill. Oh, god. What have my birth control pills been doing to the baby in my belly?

  A different kind of panic set in and I quickly took the birth control pills from my purse and threw them in the trash, holding my stomach protectively. I won't take another pill, not until I figure what I'm going to do about this.

  I sighed heavily as I sank back into my bed and sniffled just as my bedroom door opened. Initially, I was ready to tell whomever it was to leave me alone, but when I saw Kit's concerned expression, I fell apart again.

  “Come here,” Kit soothed, pulling me into his arms.

  My body relaxed at his touch, the warmth from his body soothing as he held me and smoothed my hair slowly. I took a shaky breath and then sobbed again when he told me that everything would be okay.

  “I'm so sorry,” I whimpered, wrapping my arms around him tightly and burying my face into his chest as the tears continued. “I don't know how this happened. My birth control must have failed or something.”

  He pulled away to look at me softly. “Don't apologize, sweetheart. I'm not angry or upset at all. More than anything, I just want to make sure you're okay. Why didn't you tell me what was going on this morning?”

  “I was scared,” I admitted quietly.

  “Why were you scared? Talk to me, please.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a steadying breath. “Because I thought if you knew, you'd want to leave. We've only been dating a couple of months and I thought it would scare you away from me. I don't want to be a single mother and I don't want to lose you.”

  He smiled at me, gently cradling my face between his hands. “Oh, sweetheart. I could never leave you, no matter what happens. And I would never let you be a single mother. Even if you decided right now that you wanted nothing to do with me, I would still support you and our child.”

  Our child, I thought fondly as reality set in a little deeper.

  “But are you ready to be a father? Am I? How are we going to be parents when we've barely started dating?” I panicked, looking at him through tearful eyes.

  “Acacia, nobody is ever truly ready to be a parent. They may think that they are, prepare endlessly to support a child, but nobody is ever ready. Not until it happens. And I am in my thirties now, so sooner or later I eventually would've been a father,” he stated, rubbing his thumbs against my cheeks.

  I sniffled and bit my cheek. “Are you sure that you want to be tied to me for the rest of your life? What if we don't work out? You'd have to see me every day for at least eighteen years.”

  He looked at me passionately, his eyes soft and smile affectionate. “Acacia, I have loved you since the moment I saw you, passionately and endlessly. If you think, even for a moment, that I would even consider living my life without you by my side, then let me remind you every day. I promise that I will take care of you and our child, without reservation or resentment, from this day forward.”

  My heart raced and my chest swelled tightly when I realized what he had said.

  “Y-you love me?” I whispered, my voice breaking as our eyes met.

  “With every muscle in my body, with every fiber of my being. You're the love of my life, Acacia Perry, and you always have been. Why do you think I tried so hard to get you to go on a date with me? I'm not the begging type, but you make me feel so damn vulnerable,” he admitted, the sincerity in his voice and in his eyes so strong that tears quickly returned to my eyes.

  “I –”

  He put his thumb over my lips and smiled warmly. “Shh, I know. Get your stuff together, sweetheart. Let's go home, okay? We can talk more about everything later, but right now, I want to get you home and in bed, so you can rest.”

  A few weeks passed by, with morning sickness and an exhaustion I had never experienced before. Kit and I went to work during the days and holed up in our apartment at night, planning for the newest addition to our little family. I had been too much of a coward to outright tell him that I loved him, but he knew I did – as he reminded me every time I tried to say it. He told me not to rush into saying it, that I could take my time and make it perfect for me. I appreciated his patience and understanding, especially with the hormones running wild in my changing body. But today… today was the day I would finally tell him.

  We had our first ultrasound at seven weeks’ pregnant and I couldn't have been more nervous yet excited. I had been anxiously awaiting this day, ready to see the little peanut causing all
of the hectic mood swings and sickness. And as we sat in the exam room with the ultrasound tech, listening to our baby's heartbeat, I saw a side of Kit that I'd never seen before.

  “Your baby's heartbeat sounds very strong, Acacia,” the tech informed us, running the wand across my stomach as she looked at the screen.

  I craned my neck in hopes to catch a glimpse of our baby, but I couldn't and leaned back against the hospital bed. Kit's hand tightened around mine and he smiled warmly at me when I looked over at him.

  “I'd say you're about seven weeks and three days’ pregnant today, Acacia. Only one baby in there as well. Would you like to see your baby?” she asked with a friendly smile as she continued to press the wand into me.

  Kit and I eagerly nodded as she turned the screen toward us. She pointed out the baby's body to us, informing us that he or she was still too small to determine anything like gender. “But your baby is very healthy and his or her heartbeat is right on track,” she concluded.

  I looked over at Kit with a warm smile to find him crying as he stared at the screen with a look of absolute, undying love. It sent a pang into my chest that I hadn't ever felt before and I squeezed his hand tightly.

  “That's our baby,” Kit whispered, looking at me with that same look. “We… we created a life, Acacia.”

  I nodded as a happy sob escaped my lips. “Yeah, we did.”

  “He's so small and fragile-looking,” he continued to whisper as if speaking any louder would break the dam of emotion building behind his eyes.

  I squeezed his hand and moved it to my stomach. “We will protect him and love him more than anything in the world.”

  The ultrasound tech chuckled softly. “How do you know it’s a boy?”

  “Call it a gut feeling,” Kit and I spoke simultaneously as we kept eye contact.

  She pulled the wand away and gingerly set a paper towel on my thighs. “Well, whatever the gender, your baby is healthy and I will get you some pictures to show family and friends. Take as much time as you need, okay?”